Regret

I have the most difficult time articulating my thoughts to people I haven’t met before or haven’t seen for several months or more. It’s tortuous in the sense that, as a direct result, I make less friends, and well, I waste half my time with them feeling shy and nervous about talking. This is a totally different side of me than what is seen through fandoms.

Remember my Disneyland post with my Bostonian cousin? This entry’s somewhat like that. I have a distant cousin. I’m not actually sure what our real relationship is. For the longest time, I thought we were second cousins (those second, third, etc. relationships confuse me to death), but all my mom really knows (he’s a cousin from my dad’s side) is that we’re distant cousins, and things get blurry, because I *think* my grandma (who is my cousin’s aunt, or so I think) is adopted. So much for family history.

Anyways, I last saw him 6 years ago. He’s from Australia, and probably has a totally radical Aussie accent. <3 Actually, I couldn’t picture his face today. All I remembered distinctly from before was that he asked me to say something in my American English so that he could compare it with his Australian accent. Let it be known that, even then, he was seriously the best pianist of his age that I had known. I also remembered him being funny and constant car rides. I remember that he stayed at our house, and according to him, we played Super Mario World and went to Disneyland. I really wish I could recall all those memories and document them, simply because memories are precious things.

6 years later. He’s grown taller. He has the stereotypical teenage Asian male hair cut, which I think looks totally awesome by the way. He’s practically good enough to turn pro at piano, in my sincerest opinion. It’s somewhat of a pity that he’s not going to pursue it. Imagine playing 4 songs for 45 minutes straight for competition, and practicing 6 hours a day prior to it! Just another cousin that I could totally say I’m proud to have? (I’m 9 months older than him.) And his hands :o You can totally tell when one’s a pianist by the person’s hands. My finger length to hand size ratio is pretty large, but his fingers are just so nimble. I mean~ they’ve been practically molded to play the piano, and he places so furiously that it can actually be somewhat a blur to see his fingers moving so quickly. O_O

Unfortunately, I didn’t really talk to him for the majority of the day. That’s just the way I am. That’s why parties are never fun until the last 1-2 hours. *shrug* We ended up playing Wii Sports and Wii Play. For someone who’s never played them before, he’s really good. O_O

Luckily, I got his screen name before he left, and next Friday, before he goes back to Australia, I think we’re all going to have dinner again. He likes Japanese food and anime. His mom loves Korean dramas. And we had a lovely MSN conversation last night, until passed 12 (he just came from NY today, so it would’ve been about 3 AM for him x_x)

So now I have 2 cool cousins. Strange thing is~ I can really remember my Boston cousin from when I was 8, but meeting my Australian cousin has always been kind of fuzzy, and I was 10 when I saw him. Maybe because I don’t have any pictures. *shrug* But they’re both wonderful~~ Nya nya nya.

Fundraising? We made maybe $200? =x Ettoo…. Then I had piano lessons because I’ve got a recital next week. Going to fail. Started crying. I just haven’t been practicing and going to lessons enough to perform well at all.